i am by definition a grateful wife, which means warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received…but i have my moments. ;) i try to remind myself everyday to be truly grateful…and yet sometimes it doesn’t work. it is in those times that i realize that i am disconnected from the source that is grateful and i must reconnect immediately.
today i was having one of those moments and then i opened an email from my mother that is traveling in france with some friends…i was expecting to read about her many discoveries and all about the great food, however, what i read was heart wrenching. i read a couple of sentences about her experience so far and then my eyes came upon the reason for her email…one of her dear friends had suffered a stroke and was hospitalized. i immediately began to pray and my heart went out to her family that was traveling to france to be with her during this unexpected reality.
i battle with the emotion of being grateful that my mom was typing this email, instead of one of the other mothers typing it to their daughters about my mom. i also struggle with sadness because her family is traveling to such a beautiful place for such a sad occasion, yet i know that if it were my mom, i would not be able to travel to be with her. life is so unexpected…
when we are little and dream about our future, we often leave out the small details of life as we journey toward that dream. i can say that i don’t recall putting feelings of abandonment, low self-esteem, identity crisis, emotional, spiritual, or physical abuse, being flooded out of my city, unemployment, and the struggle to conceive a baby on the list of experiences to have along the way…but i will say this, i’m grateful. and by that i mean, grateful that i survived to understand the triumph after tragedy experience. it is like no other experience…you somehow connect to that source that is inside of you and it instinctively will pull you directly into triumph.
i am presently experiencing life with the understanding that…life is what you create it to be…and i am grateful for it. i have opened up my heart to expect that life will happen…and while it is happening i expect to learn more about my part in this creation.
*here’s what i know…being grateful causes more experiences for you to be grateful :)